What to Do If You Are Worried Your Child Might Have an Eating Disorder?
As a parent, it's heartbreaking to see your child struggle with their relationship with food, especially when it might indicate a deeper issue like an Eating Disorder (ED). Eating disorders can affect children and teens at any age, and the earlier you address the situation, the better the outcome for their long-term health and well-being. If you're worried your child might have an Eating Disorder, it's important to approach the situation with care, empathy, and a well-thought-out plan.
In this blog post, I’ll provide practical steps you can take to help your child if you suspect they’re struggling with an eating disorder. Remember, you’re not alone, and seeking support for both your child and yourself is a vital part of the process.
1. Educate Yourself on Eating Disorders (EDs)
The first step in helping your child is to understand what eating disorders are and how they might manifest. Eating disorders can take many forms, from Anorexia Nervosa to Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating Disorder, and other less common types. Each of these disorders can affect your child’s physical and emotional health in different ways. Have a read of the different types under the Services tab on the website. Being able to understand them will help you approach your child’s health in a safe and supportive manner.
2. Approach Your Child in a Safe, Non-Threatening Environment
It’s essential to choose the right time and place to discuss your concerns. An Eating Disorder is deeply personal and approaching your child when they feel safe and comfortable will make the conversation more open and less defensive.
Avoid discussing it around food: Conversations about food, weight, or eating habits at the dinner table or during mealtimes can feel like an interrogation to your child. This can create shame or anxiety around food, which is already a core issue in Eating Disorders.
Choose a calm, private setting: A quiet place where your child feels secure, like their bedroom or a place you both enjoy together, will allow them to feel supported and less vulnerable.
3. Express Concern with Compassion and Curiosity, Not Criticism
How you express your concern is crucial. It’s important to focus on your child’s health and well-being rather than on appearance or weight. Your goal is to make them feel loved, heard, and supported, not judged.
Instead of saying something like “You need to eat more,” OR “You look too skinny,” try framing your concern with empathy:
“I’ve noticed you seem to be struggling with food lately, and I’m really concerned about you. How are you feeling?” OR “I’ve noticed you have been really down lately, stopped seeing friends and food feels hard, I am worried about you, I am curious about what's going on?”
This approach invites dialogue and shows that you care about their emotional and physical health rather than focusing on their body size or food choices.
4. Have a Plan for Direction
Once you’ve expressed your concern, it’s time to take practical steps toward getting your child the help they need. Having a clear plan can ease the anxiety both you and your child might be feeling.
Make an appointment with a doctor: This is often the first step in seeking professional help. A doctor can provide an initial assessment, rule out any underlying medical conditions, and refer you to a specialist Dietitian, Therapist, Eating Disorder Treatment Center or Hospital if they are medically unstable.
Consider therapy options: A specialised Dietitian or Therapist can help address the physical, emotional and psychological issues that often accompany these disorders. Maudsley Family Based Therapy (FBT) or Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is often recommended for its effectiveness in treating EDs in children and teens. As well as, work with your child to develop a healthier relationship with food and restore normal eating habits.
Being proactive and having a plan helps reduce uncertainty and shows your child that you’re committed to supporting them through this difficult time.
5. Start Eating Main Meals with Them
For children with Eating Disorders, meals can feel stressful, overwhelming, or even like a battleground. By eating together, you provide a sense of normalcy and safety around food, as well as offering distraction from their ED thoughts.
Model healthy eating behaviors: This doesn’t mean you have to become a food expert overnight, but simply sitting down together and eating regular meals can help normalise eating.
Offer emotional support during meals: Use these moments to talk about things other than food. Focus on their interests, share positive experiences, or simply enjoy their company.
Try and keep them entertained for 30 mins post meals: After meals, the ED thoughts are usually very loud, your child would be feeling shame and guilt about eating. Keep them distracted with a game or TV show for 30 mins to help, this is especially important if they are engaging in purging behaviours after meals.
6. Seek Ongoing Support
Finally, remember that dealing with an Eating Disorder can be a long-term process, and you will need ongoing support for both you and your child. Consider joining support groups for parents of children with eating disorders, where you can connect with others facing similar challenges. Therapy for parents can also be helpful in understanding how to support your child through their recovery journey.
Final Thoughts
It’s tough to see your child struggle with something as difficult as an eating disorder, but your love, support, and commitment to getting them the right help can make all the difference. By educating yourself, approaching the situation with care, and seeking the right professional guidance, you can help your child begin to heal.
At The Nourish Club, we are a specialised Eating Disorder Dietitian service that will be able to support you and your child. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Working together, we can help them find their way back to a healthier, happier relationship with food and themselves.